12 Weeks...

The dreaded 12 Week mark has come and gone. Twelve weeks is a wonderful milestone for a baby. It marks almost the 3 month mark since their entrance into our big bad world. For a mother who works outside of the home, 12 weeks can carry a whole different meaning.

Since Logan's birth I have enjoyed EVERY second with this baby. I know every mother says that their baby is the best baby, or the sweetest, or cutest but I can attest (since I have had two) that Logan seriously is the BEST baby. I have been very blessed with very healthy, happy children.  Staying home with Logan for 12 weeks was just an awesome experience.  The beginning of our time was spent in the house snuggled up in a comfy chair napping, feeding, and watching really bad tv.  As Logan grew my confidence also grew. We began to venture out to Target, Wal-Mart, and the mall. Logan was there for me in many dressing rooms as I teared up unable to find something cute, mom-appropriate, yet trendy and that fit me correctly. Logan was there for me when I was lonely or upset. He was my confidant when I was happy or excited.  Logan made sure that my "chores" were done and helped me prepare dinners and clean the house. You can see how quickly 12 weeks flew by with ALL of that excitement!

 For a working mother the 12 week mark is bitter sweet. It creates mixed emotions. For one thing the thought of leaving your sweetie with a total stranger (which was not our case) is terrifying. On the other hand the idea of getting showered, made up, and dressed with shoes that don't flip or flop is kind of exciting. I made sure to give myself incentive to return to work by losing as much weight as possible and buying all new work clothes and shoes.  I figured if I have to go back to work I want to look good but more importantly feel good about myself.

As the 12 week mark got closer I developed sadness, anxiety, resentment, anger, fear (ok, let's just say I felt every emotion in the book.)  I had the luxury when my first child, Lily was born of taking a four month maternity leave. After four months, my sister Megan who is a school teacher, kept Lily at my home during her summer break. I was so blessed to have a six month delay in Lily's entrance into the world of daycare (or school as we call it.) After Lily's birth I heavily researched every childcare option within a 20 mile radius. After visiting about 12 options I went with Primrose School in Mid cities. Primrose School has been a wonderful decision for our family. Lily as well as Aaron and I are treated like part of their family. They have an excellent curriculum and it truly is a learning environment rather than just a daycare.  We are amazed daily at Lily's knowledge. 

If I had my choice I would not have a 12 week old baby in daycare but then again, if I had ocean-front property in Arizona I'd be a millionaire. With all other options exhausted we enrolled Logan in Primrose. The positive here is that Logan has the same teachers that Lily had which gave me great comfort.

A few days before Logan started at Primrose I took him up and introduced him to his new nannies. Sunday night came and I was very emotional. I cried for every reason I could think of. Monday morning we trekked along. Lily was a big helper and accompanied me as we dropped Logan off in his new class. I kissed him and squeezed him fighting back tears as I let him go.  This time Lily grabbed my hand. She said, "we're going to have a happy day mommy, none of us are going to cry." How does she know, I thought? With that it was done. Logan was at daycare and Mommy was at work and no one missed a beat.

I've been back to work for 3 days and with each day I pray it gets easier. I miss that sweet smile, those big blue eyes and his fuzzy head against my face. It will get easier, I tell myself...